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yo my life is like an epic fail. i honestly want to know what i did wrong. like everytime i saw my "friends" they usually ignore me or an attitude or i would say it like that but like yeah. i seriously want to know what i did wrong though besides ignoring me. like i say something you guys just tend to not talk to me or walk away on me. sigh... for whatever i did wrong i apologize. sigh...

blah blah blah

sigh... stress is coming to me again. like mom is like nagging me, bro wants me gone because im just a lazy fat ass that does nothing at home. and my friends that dont really chill with me. regents is pissing me off. school i cant handle. fuck this. fuck life. like seriously i basically got nothing. sigh... i cant believe i fucked my life over an italian sausage sucker. fuck! why cant i realize this before. why do i make dumb choices in life. omg.... one im gonna leave this place with frankie. omg... sigh.... i honestly dont got much to say anymore but fml. sigh...

sorryyy :[

sigh... i havent been this stressed out since like last year incident with my drama. and i apologize for all my friends. ;[ i probably over reacted because of the stress im having for the past week. and sorry i walked away, just that i had a mean headache so i went home. and watching the movies was a good time but had my freaking eye twitching every 2 mins of each movie so like wasnt in the mood. sigh... im sorry guys. :[ i hope you guys forgive me.

monday on the 12th i went to school then went to work. pool day, monday and wednesday. so like i was wearing my trunks already and i totally forgot i had my phone in my trunks so BAM! my white curve is gone forever. sigh... it was sad how my phone died. went to the pool with my phone and swam for a good half an hour until we got out for buddy check crap. so when i got out of the pool i was wondering why my trunks were heavy until i checked my pockets and BAM my phone is here with me. sigh... ;[ white phone no more. ;T then after work i went to seward then home. right after i got home i went straight to look for another phone. and now i've been downgraded to a moto phone. >.> ouch...

so like today my schedule changed again. ugh... like now i got 2 classes to take. global and chem. global for the regents and chem for my class credit. >.> so stressful because i had to wake up mad early and leave the house early just to get to school. mad tired. right after school, i went to work and my group that i work for went to a trip so i didnt know what else to do but stall time. which basically cheated my hour. then the rest of the day was like crap. no one was out. and it was raining.

and again im sorry guys for how i reacted on movie day. :T just soo stressed out with school and work. >.> i still love you all. :[

what the fuck....

wow.... everything that i've done for you guys and i tried to be nice already. and all i get in return is what nothing. pretend i wasnt even there. though i wasnt looking for center of attention or whatever. fuck you! like seriously all you can think of is like what each other. and like i thought you are my friend. at least care alittle bit. like shit... its already fucking stressful enough that i gotta fucking wake up early morning just to go to school and go to work till 6. and like yes i know i dont have time to chill with you. all you like to do is treat me like shit. first i was being nice then you start treating like shit. then i start being like an ass just like the way you treat me and then you give me a look like what the fuck is wrong with you. like thanks i feel sooo much better now. then i wait for you to finish what your doing and then you know what i get back, i ask you to wait for me too but no.... you gotta be fucked up and just leave when i waited for you.

fucking movies was like fucking drag. waste of my time. like... okay i sit somewhere else. then watching you guys get up and like walk away. dont even bother to fucking text me where you guys going. and i fucking use the bathroom. and all you guys are like THE FUCK! .... ugh....

thanks... i have thee greatest friends that treated me so much the same as i treated them. ugh...

work!!!

okay... sigh... where to begin. i know... im fucking busy for the next two months like holy crap. okay like i got summer school at environmental studies and then work. sigh... -_-;; so busy. though one thing i like about this summer school is that i get to stare at my hot girl teacher ms kwon. whoever is reading this probably know her from school. shes korean! :D but anyway... i had to be at school at 8:10 - 9:40. this i came in school today and next thing you know they said schedule been changed it starts at 9:45 - 11:15. -_-;; then start work at 12:30 to 5:30. fucking shit, i fucking hate this job.

everyday i come in to work its the kids lunch break or whatever and the fucking cafeteria is fucking humid! like how do you guys eat at a humid place. its mad disturbing like your sweating and eating besides like hotpot or whatever, you get a fan but the cafeteria dont got no fan nor ac. OMG! and whoever took the late shift like me is like all blacks or hispanic or white. and im basically the only asian there. -_-;; very disturbing. and like my black fat boss is fucking lazy and weird. -_-;; asking other syep to hold her bags and whatever or eating some of the kids snacks too. -_-; ugh.. and like during lunch i hear her say like i want that and that but no vegetable. holy shit eat some vegetable like look at you. walking mad slow and shit. and then at work i've been soo silent that this other group boss (alexis) kepted looking at me like are you okay. -_-; yes im okay. then this girl in my group is like nagging the shit outta me. like okay.... are you done. sigh.. its like these people never seen an asian guy before. everywhere i go is basically asking myself to sweat because i dont have like a home room so everyone is like traveling back an forth. -_-;; every morning im like waking up at 7 and like sleeping around 1-2. well now i get to sleep an extra hour. >.> but after work like the fuck man! get a fucking ac in the cafeteria.

sigh... soo stressful and tiring. and lately i been feeling so lonely. sigh.. im such a faggot. <--- EMO!!! -_- well not really lonely. just that no one to talk to or just that they all are busy with hb or just dont want to talk to me. lol! but its okay. dont wanna force anyone just to talk to me! hahaha! well this is how my life been for the past couple days. school then work then play a game and come home and tvb or whatever occupies me.

wowww!!!!!

okay like today i just came home around 2 - 3 something because i was in my friends bbq. ehh... it was fun and boring at the sametime. i just sat there watching the older people play mj even though i want to play but i dont think i have enough money to buy in. xP everyone with there 20s and me with my 10 and a single in my wallet. shiettt.....

well today was like a interesting day. went to bay 8 with frankie, angel, alex, dennis, phil, annie, helen, mike, and garjin. wow, that park was packed. then there was this game with me and phil played a double game and damn it was slaughter. killing every shot we hit them with. -_-;; everything was soo fast. then had a handicap against angel and annie and yes i won.... >.> not... but it was okay, it was just a warm up game for me for the next game. played almost the same people but had frankie as my partner. that game was a slaughter. as everyone left myself, angel, garjin, and mike took the bus and train back home while dennis drove the other people to ct.

when i took the train back home damn i was rushing to the bbq down where micheal huang lives at cresent st or ave. then like after i got off the train i just speed walked and then ran back home to shower then head to the bbq because i stank. >.> before i got home i just remembered i used up all my body wash -_-;; so i went to rite aid to get another body wash. then rushed home and showered. as i saw my uncles car still in the back, i was thinking i should go with him to go to the bbq too so i wouldnt make a big hassle taking the bus and train and transfering and whatever. so i called him up and waited to go to the bbq.

got to the bbq and damn i got myself a good welcome. ;D so happy. like i got people that recognizes me. so then i went to grab some dogs, burgers, and you don! so asian. hahah! then all i was hearing and seeing was fireworks. sucked so bad but it was alright. then i was watching the ladys doing there mjing as i study of what i should do and not in mj. ;D then the rest of the night we just chatted away. lol!

and i need to work back out again. like omg... ;[ i look like shit. sigh...

tired...

hm.... last night i slepted around 2 - 3 in the morning watching vids to get myself points and only got myself 600 something. -_-;; i dont even know if this is worth it. and its my first time on lockerz and whatever. -_-;;

anyway, today i went to bay 8 with frankie. we were suppose to play at this park around midwood but no one was there so we just left to go to bay 8. lol, funny thing was that we basically walked to bay 8 because i only had 75 cents in my metro so we couldnt take the train there. holy crap we walked like almost more than 5 aves, but hey we had a good exercise. we mostly walked and talked on our way there. lol this nigga frankie kepted complaining im tired when i was holding his duffle bag. hahah faggot... =_=;; but we both got closer bond now. more like bros now, though we are bros but just closer. its nice talking to frankie. hes always there for a brother when i need him. me and frankie been going to bay 8 just to meet more people. lol, mostly frankie does. nigggaaaaaa tooo pussy to go by himself. by the time we got there we played a game, just a game only for doubles. i played another of single crap i lost. ;[ but its okay learn from my mistakes. so we left after i finished my game. we both split up after atlantic ave since i needed to transfer to the B or Q to go home. as usual i always get off at neckroad and walk back home.

i usually walk back home from neckroad or anywhere not because i just want to lose weight like that but just lets me think about whatevers in my head. i usually think about the past of what i've have done and should of done. but hey, look at me now. i got myself an awkward life. though i like it at the sametime because the awkward part is that i fucked my future over but can i fix it back? im in the border of getting left back again. and like i seriously hate it when people talk about school with me, i hate school and i just want to leave already. but the good part is that i just feel more relaxed when i dont have to care about anything about school and crap. more like relationship also.

further more i'll see what i can write thats more interesting and random in my head. so night to all your fellow peepz.